Haggatha Eats Crow

So, PG and I decided to have an early dinner out (duh, yet another day without cooking) and I left the restaurant choice up to him.  He's pickier about those sorts of things than I am, and I was REALLY glad to just be going somewhere, anywhere.  He chose a place that's literally clear across our major city in a part of town that I don't know very well.  I've been to this restaurant before, but its been a long time.

Here goes the subtle hint.

I ask him if we should take X highway or Y highway.  I explained that I didn't know which exit, and he didn't either.  I then go finish getting ready (oh yeah, jewelry, perfume, etc etc etc....I was looking forward to somewhat of a date night).

So we hop in the speedy auto and head out.  But then comes the fork in the road, and which highway to take?  I ask him.  His response, "I don't know".  So I ask again, "Which way is shorter?".  He's not sure.

And then Haggatha invades me like a demon and my eyes turn red, voice goes gruff and I say....

"WHY WEREN'T YOU GETTING DIRECTIONS WHILE I WAS GETTING READY?!?!?!"

(Here goes that Turbo Bitch again)

I mean, I was SO pissed that he couldn't think ahead enough to get directions (let alone make reservations on a Saturday night), that I couldn't even see straight.

So for one very long car ride (all the way across town) he tried to make light conversation while I steamed like an ear of corn on a cheap buffet.  P-I-S-S-E-D that he didn't think enough of our night out to bother with directions.  I'm reading him the riot act like a full-auto machine gun with a stuck trigger and its getting downright nasty.

(Men, you'll have to excuse me on this one.  I'm sure you're full of insight at his moment, but trust me, keep reading and you'll settle down).

So we get to the restaurant and I'm STILL going.  I can hear my own bitchy voice from far away and even began to think to myself that the whole thing was utterly ridiculous.

Then it dawned on me!!  I mean, like the clouds parted, the light bulb clicked on, hallelujah its a miracle!

My nasty, Haggatha, bitchy behavior was probably going to do nothing but ruin the evening and make him think twice about EVER doing a date night again.  Hello?  Duh?  What the sam-hell was I really griping about?  Somehow or other, we'd have found the place, neither one of us are going to starve to death, and was it REALLY worth it to act that way?

Short answer:  No.

Long answer:  No.

So the guy messed up and didn't get directions.  So what?  Its not like we were assembling rockets or something.  Here I was red-eyed, glaring, huffing and puffing over something SO stupid.  I was going to let a minor detail ruin a precious night together (we don't have a lot of time together these days) all because I'm so perfect and he's not.  Not.

Anyway, I immediately felt horrible and apologized for going zero-to-turbo in 2.5 seconds.  He of course understood (he always does, he's a saint).  Then to make matters worse, it dawned on me that there are probably thousands of women sitting at home wishing that their guy would take them out to dinner.  And here I was having such a fit about the stupid directions!

What is wrong with me?!?! 

Anyway, the evening turned out great (with the exception of being witness to a nasty car crash and helping those people, calling the cops, etc).  But it really made me think about "biting the hand that feeds you" over lame things.  Now back when we were dating, I would've NEVER done this and it makes me think that maybe I should be a little more respectful.  After all, he gives me free rein to do whatever, whenever.  And I repay him by snapping his head off like a praying mantis.  Where did the respect go?  At what point in our ten-year marriage did I decide it was OK to be this way?  Not only OK, but in my mind (at the time) it was deserved and the RIGHT thing to do.  Well, I can assure you that I won't be having a tantrum about silly things anymore.  Well, at least I'm going to make a big effort not to anyway.  He's not perfect either, but he doesn't deserve to be stuck in a car with a demon from the seventh circle.

Anyway, the moral of the story is that before Haggatha opens her trap, make sure the magazine is out and the chamber is clear.  Any crow you save is crow you don't have to eat.

Comments

[Kathy]

I can SO relate to this! One of the best, short pieces of advice I ever heard (from a parenting class when I was dealing with a teenager) was: Choose your battles.

[Kat]

I'm biting my tongue so hard, it's bleeding! As a general rule, men don't have the planning gene. This is why I invested in a GPS system (well, that and I admit I get lost in a paper bag myself). I would have been frustrated too, but then I'd have to have a talk with myself later and remind myself to pick my battles wisely. I find that if I ask myself, "so what?" it helps.